Since I can remember, I always wanted a girl.
I was an only daughter for 10 years. I loved being a girl. Flowing dresses, dolls, bonding with mummy, being pampered, dancing with flair, jewelry and everything girlie. And then I had a brother, who in my eyes is more my kiddo than bro so I pretty much wanted the same set up. A daughter to pamper, dress up and share my immense knowledge with and then a boy who my daughter would enjoy mothering.
When I was finally blessed, I prayed for a girl. How I prayed. Sure everyone says it doesn’t matter as long as baby is healthy but most mothers have a slight incline towards one gender. Most want a girl, being a girl and some want a boy since they grew up with boys. I waited impatiently for the 5 month scan to give me the answer.
A few months before the scan we made new friends who already had a lovely daughter. One time as the husband played with the kids present, ” Boys are great. You can be as rough with them as you want. ” And something clicked! I knew he didn’t mean he wished for a boy instead of a girl. His girl is plenty spunky and his love always evident. He just meant boys can be rough housed with in a different way and realized that till that moment I had only been thinking of me. How cool it would be for my husband to have a buddy!!
I realized my love for my husband would make me ecstatic if we were to have a boy. My irrationality disappeared. And when the scan came, I was super excited for all the fun we 3 were going to be having. A boy just as my cute and playful as my husband would be so perfect for our little family.
Now, I’m expecting again, the speculations continue. Boy or girl ?! Ideally, everyone says a boy and a girl complete a family. How I would love a girl! But now ever so often, I feel greedy that if it’s a boy how much more fun would that be for my son ?! Siblings are great no matter the gender but the closeness I see my husband sharing with his brother somewhere tugs at my heart making me want a boy just as much.
The lesson ? When you love someone enough, it stops mattering what you want. Everything can be interpreted into something better when looked through the eyes of another. Also, our desires constantly change depending on the circumstances. And in the end, fact is any child is a blessing in every way and loved thoroughly.
Suddenly the lure and reasoning of a big family makes immense sense to me. Hmmmm ….
