He takes that step onto that big, yellow bus and it is bittersweet. My heart wells up with emotions. I fear for how he will manage by himself, am proud that he wants to and am happy to see him start a going to school. But above all I am anxious that this would be the very first day where he would be away from me all day.
He gets in and goes to the other side. I can’t see him and have no way to say bye to him. I wave crazily in the hopes that he is seeing me, maybe.
I come home and tell my husband that it’s funny now we will know he’s reached school and spent all day at school only after he comes back. It’s a matter of blind faith. Specially, with me being new to the school system, I don’t even know what he should expect from his day, so I haven’t prepped him at all.
Time slows down considerably, if that’s at all possible. I have spent only one other day away from him for so long but that time he was with his grandparents and at home. Today, he’s all by himself out there in the world, in an environment totally new to him
I get work done, cook, organize(I do that a lot when I’m restless), watch tv, play nonsensical games and dance with my daughter all the while thinking when the clock will strike 3 pm and I can rush to go find out how his day went. When his sister was to be born, the nurse said, ” It’s you parents who have a harder time being away from them. They enjoy themselves with other kids and doing new things. “
Still, he wasn’t well the night before. It took a lot of cajoling to get him ready and to have breakfast. He got excited once he saw all the kids at the bus stop but I worry. Did he eat his lunch? Did he play in the play ground? Did he get sicker or is he okay?
I write to pass the time. See the clock strike 2.50 pm and excitedly, rush to the bus stop. The bus is late. I laugh with the other mothers waiting with me but inwardly am wondering if he found his bus to come back okay.
The bus comes. He’s the second person to get off. I hold his hand tight. ” How did your day go? “
” Very good. At first I was shy but then I got really excited. ”
As I feed him lunch, I grill him. I know asking, what did you do all day will not get answered so I ask different questions one by one.
‘What did you do in the playground? ”
“I played little. I was tired so I sat. There is a big boys playground, we should not go there. “
Pause.
“Did you meet any new friends? ”
“Only the boy next to me and two girls we played with. “
Pause.
“Did you eat your lunch? ”
“Yes, but one grape fell down and I had to trash it. “
Pause.
“What did your teacher say? ”
” She told us all things to do in school. “
Pause.
“Did you have fun? ”
” Yes,’ He starts laughing.” Why are you so excited ? “
He sounds so big asking that, I smile realizing this is one of those moments I’m the one being childish while being a mother, ” I AM excited. “, I reply.” I missed you so much all day today. Did you miss me a little bit ? “
” I missed you. Not a little, a lot. But I know. You are always in my heart. ” he says, putting his hand on his chest with the most serious expression ever!
It is now that I tear up. My boy is really growing up.
The next day, he gets in and sits at the side of the bus from where he can see me and waves goodbye. I think we both are learning. Me to let go, he to hold on !
I teared up reading the last line when he said he missed you a lot! I hope my kids tell me that when they go off to school because I know I will be missing them like crazy!
What a sweet big boy! He sounded very compassionate and mature. Glad to know that he enjoyed kindergarten. My little one is going next year. Hoping to survive that first day…. but I’ll be fine. 🙂 #RookieParents
So sweet! I remember when my now 9 year old went to kindergarten. It was so hard. But he got use to going to school and I had to get use to the quiet in the house. Until I decided to homeschool in the 2nd grade. Now I have a 2.5 and 9 year old at home all the time! 🙂
Dicia ~ Itsmymommylifenow.com
Dear Aditi, one word for you ‘nostalgia’ and I’ll tell you the rest of the story 🙂 he comes home and texts you, mum I got home…..and then you get home and his bag is still on the couch, his afternoon cup of milk is sitting on the coffee table where he left it and you begin to stew! God forbid you are a virgo/libra cusp…and have OCD which has intensified with age. Nevertheless, he comes strutting through his bedroom door and you look up to him (yeah, he is 13 :)) and he asks, how was your day mum? with the cheekiest of smiles. And your heart wells up again, this time looking for something to throw at him and tell him a millionth time, tidy up after yourself (ROFL)…….but you know what, they are worth it!
I sent my little to kindergarten this year also, and it was so much harder for me with this one than with the first. The first seemed fearless and that helped this poor mama! Although my little has always gone to daycare, I was so afraid for him because he can be shy and is no fan of change. Of course for all of that worrying he came home so excited-he loved it!
Awwww i am not looking forward to my girls first day at big school!
It gets better. And there are more great moments ahead!
So sweet. It doesn’t get easier. Left my youngest at college and I ask all the same questions it seems.
LOL I love this! It’s definitely hard that first day of school and it seems to never get that much easier for me!
Oh, mama! I feel for you! I am not nearing this stage quite yet but absolutely DREAD the day it comes. You are doing great! I think it’s totally normal and a sign of a great mom that you get nervous for him!
Awww this talk with your son is adorable! Sounds similar to the one with my preschooler (with all the pausing. lol) I’m so glad he had a great day despite his first day nerves. So sweet!
Oh my heart…. “You are always in my heart…” ALL THE FEEEEEEEEEELS!
Oh my! I’m not sure I am going to be able to let my baby girl go in a couple years! 🙁
Isn’t it amazing how much time you have when your little one is away? Although you miss them, sometimes you miss being able to do so much more with your freetime.
So sweet!! This reminds me of how I felt when my oldest child started kindergarten. I remember feeling happy and a little sad at the same time. Such a touching post and your writing is beautiful. Sharing this on my FB!!