Potty Training at 25

Of course, it’s not 25 years but months! Like most first time mothers I waited for my little one to show signs of being ready according to online checklists. Finally I just got tired waiting. Also, ( I admit sheepishly ) my son’s playschool required him to be in training diapers by the time he started school. So the procrastination has to end somewhere.

The Myth

I read articles online. Didn’t get it honestly! Potty training in a day. In three days. In a week. And on and on the stories went but I was lost about how to really go about it. No one talks about how to get the kid to actually sit on the potty. Or understand when to pee or how. It’s all very generic and happy and almost like a successful accident that happens over the mentioned period of time. Some even say ” Oh! It just happened. ” ( eyes rolling ) It doesn’t. They have just forgotten in the every day grind how They ground their teeth at every accident and retaliation. But that happens over time. Parents trivialize their kids’ milestones as casual achievements. So excuse their lack of detail.

Advice that specifically helped us
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One said she took her daughter to the restroom every 10 minutes then 20 then 30 so on. And scolded her really badly when major accidents happened.

Another rewarded with candy and chart paper.

Another just didn’t put him in diapers no matter what the outcome.

Another spoke about letting her kid sit on the kid potty training chair and watch cartoons with no success and eventual learning by the kid in school by seeing other kids.

Another friend said she used the baby potty to train her little one which made all the difference. Only wore underpants at home. Took him for short trips around town with underpants. Although she admitted the daycare helped a lot since they were vigilant about making sure he took bathroom breaks.

Talk to All your friends. Look for clues in the conversation. Experienced moms are, well experienced. They have tried certain methods that have worked for them. But also remember that as for everything Every Single Kid is different and grows differently. It’s for the parents and child to figure out a path however crooked, easy, revolutionary albeit frustrating, exhausting and rewarding. Like everything else in parenting the key is persistence and patience ( mostly ).

What worked for Us

Take 1

Note. I write us, because it’s a team effort. You and your kid. One fine day I decided that I will give it my best shot. I bought all the supplies I thought I would use.

1. Generic toys like cars, notebooks, stickers, crayons, planes etc from Dollar store for rewarding pee pee. I spent around 10 dollars. No candy for me. But that’s a personal choice.
2. Some special toys that I know he would absolutely love for poo poo like action figures, themed toys etc
3. A toilet seat. Figuring I had waited long enough to transition him directly to adult potty.

4. Chart paper to mark on when we are successful. ( Never used this )
5. Tonnes of underwear the right size.
6. Balloons to hang out of the toilet to make him feel it was a special day.
7. Training diapers.

I couldn’t go wrong, right ? Uh !! In the morning, we got up bright eyed making a big hoop la and lo and behold, our little one was screaming his head off once placed on the toilet seat, jumping off immediately. And said an absolute No to wearing underpants.

So it was back to the drawing board. We stopped trying completely.

Take 2

Step 1 :

I got books. My little one loves stories and they helped him understand what was going to happen. I got a few but the below were his favorites. Sound effects by mom helped along the concept that this was fun !!

Step 2 :

I bought a potty training chair. One that makes a big sound of flushing and music when kiddo does any Deed, figuring that would be fascinating for my little one.

Step 3 :

Two to three weeks of reading later, I draped the whole drawing room with bedsheets and placed the potty in front of the tv. I took off all my kiddo’s clothes and let him run around, not talking a single word. I showed him the new potty as a toy and how he can sit on it and it makes noise. His cartoons were on, he was interested in this new contraption, lots of water and juice intake – the stage was set.

Step 4 :

Keeping a look out for any sign for him to pee, I immediately rushed him onto the potty when I felt the time was right and made the global peeing sound, sssss. Since he had to go, he did. And lo and behold the potty sang!!! And I laughed and danced around like a fool !! Out came a surprise gift which he made him smile bigger. I asked him if he wanted to go every 15 mins like clock work for two hours emphasizing ” Pee pee in Potty ” at which point my mother scolded me that NO ONE has to go that frequently and I reduced the questioning and guiding to every hour. The above went on for the whole day and he seemed to have a hang of it even going by himself at night, waiting for us to react with the now expected clapping and congratulations. I felt like a peacock reveling in my success.

At night I put on the training pants and off we went to sleep protected in cotton.

Step 5 :

Day 2 and I put him in underpants and we had retaliation of the worst kind. He just wouldn’t sit with the pants around his knees and there were a few accidents. By evening I was ready to pull my hair out, gave up and put on the training pants, adamant on not going back to diapers. By night it struck me that maybe it was the underpants that were the problem and not the peeing/pooping coz he was happy enough to go the day before and kids don’t regress without reason.

Step 6 :

Day 3 and I took off the underpants completely each time I asked him to go. And he went. Happily, without fuss. And the life lesson was confirmed that no person in the world throws tantrums for no reason.

Step 7 :

After a couple of days of repetitive – Pee Pee ? Yes. Rushing for pee. Jubilation by me with song, dance, high praise and a gift and emphasizing “Pee Pee, Poo Poo in potty ” like the broken record – the potty started inching towards the restroom.

Step 8 :

Two weeks into it and with a few accidents which caused major meltdowns in mommy thanks to the cleaning involved ( kid wasn’t ever in danger of being scarred permanently, though he understood that this is “chi chi” that is a bad thing ) we took a trip to the local grocery store with our underpants. ( Till now we went out only with training pants. No accidents. Thank the Lord !! )

Note : Eventually of course, the prizes had stopped and the only reward was mom dad making a big deal!

Step 9 :

Another week of peeing pooping in the potty with success and trips around town and out came the potty seat to the placed onto the adult potty. I got two, one for lower floor and one for above and I have to say this transition for relatively smoother for seeing parents had given him idea about not being scared of potty anymore. Eventually he started saying pee pee, poo poo himself and rushing to the restroom before us, taking off his pants.

Step 10 :

When going out on long trips, my husband and I have to really work at finding ways to hold him above the toilet seat without touching but that’s more a balancing tactic to be improved on by us than anything else. We hold his hands and balance his feet on our knees with one leg of pant off.

Step 11 :

4 months of the above with a few accidents along the way ( none out of home thankfully !) and dry training diapers in the morning, and I simply stopped using the training diapers. Some people wake up in the night to teach their kids to pee in bed but I figure if another accident happens during the night, he will get the idea.

Step 12 :

We are currently working on standing and peeing, under dad’s guidance. (With boys, this is an additional project)

Here’s wishing you all the best! Hope you find something that works out for you and soon …

About Aditi Wardhan Singh

I'm a mom living in Virginia, enjoying chronicling my various escapes with the kids and around the kitchen. I believe being a mom involves a balance of holding on and letting go. And since being a mom is a 24/7 job, cooking though essential, needs to be as easy as can be. So peruse my blog for various experiences in parenting and experiments in cooking.
View all posts by Aditi Wardhan Singh →

2 thoughts on “Potty Training at 25

  1. So informative and it comes at a correct time. Ive been contemplating from a long time to potty train my son and guess this is the time I will let go off the diapers completely. Thanfully he pees in the potty when he wakes up and before going to the bed but in between the diapers has to go. Sometimes only because we think so much that it hold us back, which is v true in my case. Ive asked so many people and all of them gave vague answers suh as it just happenend or they eventually learned and never shared their traumas. This article comes as a great relief and inspiration to me. Thanks Aditi.

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