Change is scary. We deny it, fear it, defy it. And in the end, we accept it. Happily. The situation molds us to it’s convenience. Are we in control at all or are we strung up into the hands of time, changing with it.
When I was expecting and miserable, my three year old adapted automatically. A boy who couldn’t talk properly empathized by sharing his mother’s misery with daddy.
” Daee, mama is sick.”
” Daee, mama is sleeping. Be quiet. ”
” Daee, mama needs aaoo juice. ”
I honestly was astonished, comforted and touched by the maturity he showed and the concern he shared.
Then came the little one, who is his ” baby princess”. Everyone fears having a second one. How will we manage two? While I had endlessly worried for months about how he would manage with mom in the hospital for four days and three nights, he seamlessly fell into the routine of having only dad around, content to come visit and go back home when the time came.
The truth of the matter is it’s the children who manage us. They lead, we follow.
With the first, we sing, drive, comfort endlessly, wrapping ourselves around their tiny fingers. We are like people in the dark, figuring our way in the light of the late night website searches, calling the doctor at every cough, sneeze and poop. Pushing around the stroller till the baby falls asleep so that we can have a meal at a restaurant. Eventually we just cease going places where the kid will not be happy. Your every move is around the schedule of the feed and sleep schedule for the baby.
With the second, the luxury of ignorance disappears. You take care of the second in the time the first one spares for you. You try every trick you learned with the first one in rapid succession till one clicks and move onto the next item in the agenda for the day. The repeated advice elders give is to make sure you give time to the elder one. But where is the time to neglect the first one when they make sure their every demand is met?
All the worries he had when I was pregnant has disappeared now that mom seems hale and hearty enough to run around again. Honestly, I am happy to be able to jump on the mattress along with him and lift him and take him everywhere he wants to go. I rush to keep both kids nourished, bathed and healthy while making sure the first one is entertained and stimulated with story time, play time, park time etc. All that seemed difficult with one are now a necessity with two in tow. Soon I will be going to classes for my elder one with the younger one along for the ride whether or not it’s a convenient time for her.
Through it all, I marvel at how any variation in life is all encompassing. Your every reaction, your every decision, your every movement, your very thinking alters to amend the new reality into your life.
