Once you are a married and specially a parent, a new phrase goes on your wish list. The ever elusive and much desired, ” Me Time.”
No, I’m not talking about the deliciously exhilarating but exhausting little vacation you call getting your chores done without your kids. That’s NOT me time, though it may feel like it.
I’m also not talking about the exhausted tv watching you do with the volume low so as to not wake up the kids or when the kids are at school so you can catch up on all that you cannot watch with them around.
Again, not talking about the hour or two you may spend with your friends gabbing or getting retail therapy.
Also, not talking about those hours spent at work mulling over other issues other than kids, spouse and home.
All of those while necessary to your sanity are not actually “Me time.” The above are much needed for different reasons for a rounded off life. But here the unicorn I’m referring to is the time during which you, alone in solitude do something that truly excites you. In which you create something or learn something, get your hands dirty or get your heart beating. In which you can actually feel the surroundings envelope you and you can actually feel your mind, heart expanding. In which you feel yes, you have truly achieved something just for yourself. In which the reason for your smile is you, no one else. The quiet time in which you can actually feel your soul growing.
How many of us actually do that? For whatever reason, we don’t. And when we do get a few precious minutes we pick some random item off the ever expanding chore list in our head and we use That time to get our so called job done. We all do that and we all should not.
I remember when my first kid was born, every mother told me, ” Sleep when the baby sleeps. I didn’t but you should. Get all the rest you can when you have the help. ” And you know what? I just couldn’t. I either stayed awake catching up on chores or planning stuff or spending time with the family that would soon leave or funnily, I would just stay awake looking at my child.
Romantic as the last reason was, I should have slept. We, women all follow the similar paths, and I think many of us enjoy playing the martyr, knowing our family is dependent on us. As much as we crib and mutter ourselves through each day, we specially love being there for the ones we love in every single possible way we can.
BUT, and I cannot emphasize this enough, we need to remember to love ourselves too. The world can go on without us, if only we stop spinning for a while. I know. It’s not easy but we have to fight for it just as much as anything else we love. As much as we need to let off steam and spend time with friends and roam around outside of home all by ourselves, we need time to enjoy being alone. To be there for the people we love, we need to stay healthy, strong, loving, patient and most of all happy. So in a way, even when we do live those precious , much needed selfish moments for ourselves, we are actually doing it for our loved ones. Happiness is a very fickle emotion. The more we give, the more we get. But the more we expect others to contribute to it, the more disappointed we are bound to get. The only person who can ensure Your happiness is You.